WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

Grum - Can't Shake This Feeling

2010-10-27T16:24:00.000+01:00

Beezer

2010-10-12T16:34:00.000+01:00

Where Amazing Happens

2010-09-18T01:38:00.003+01:00

I seen an NBA advert recently entitled "Where Amazing Happens" featuring stunning music by Carly Commando.

This gave me the inspiration to "rip it off" but using images of my own team Celtic FC.

I know everyone isn't a Celtic fan on here but you get the idea, its easily transferable with any other team or event or band or whatever.

Its my first attempt at a vid so hope you enjoy.

No Country For Old Men

2010-09-17T15:23:00.005+01:00

Firstly as the author of this post I feel I need to clarify a few things.

I was raised a catholic but am now lapsed from the faith for the most part, the only time I would attend mass would be at weddings or christenings etc.

I generally believe in god or a spiritual being and try to live my life based on Christian values. Although I disagree with many aspects of the Catholic church and am often frustrated by many of the views, I still respect the church as I know its teachings and purpose.

The Papal visit has opened my eyes to a few things. In the multi-cultural society that we live in the UK would have you believe that tolerance of race and religion is prevalent on it's shores, It is actually as far behind as it's ever been with the great out pouring of anti-catholic feeling and protest by the majority of its people.

The embarrassing outpouring has manifested mainly on the Internet with both celebrities and the masses confessing their hatred for the catholic faith, Catholics themselves and the spiritual leader of the largest faith in the world, The Pope.

I personally wasn't bothered about this state visit and wasn't in a hurry to make a pilgrimage and while the church's stance on gays and obviously the abuse scandals saddens me, I feel this is a thinly veiled mask for the majority of protesters that could not care less about these issues but would rather use it as a platform for bigotry, sectarianism and hatred. The same goes for the "D Listers" that while sharing the same disinterest in the actual issues facing the church have jumped on the band wagon too show that they have feelings, morals and are not fame hungry. I'm sure the signature of author Philip Pullman along with 54 other "public figures" are enough to keep someone somewhere out of the country but maybe not The Pope.

It's made me wonder about another "front man" for a region steeped in controversy supposedly responsible for numerous deaths, the embezzlement of millions and currently in conflict with millions for being accused of preying on the weak and venerable.

I am of course talking about Scientologist Tom Cruise. This man is allowed to pass freely between ports without a hint of a protest yet has been confirmed as "second in command" in this so called evil religion founded by a science fiction writer and suspected paedophile L. Ron. Hubbard. I guess that peoples perception of religion is slightly skewed and that if you are told something is bad and you should be against it then you will be and pass that hatred on and on and on and on... but if Maverick from Top Gun tells you everything is OK then it must be.

Sailing to Byzantium

2010-09-13T17:54:00.001+01:00

THAT is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees
- Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

The Reflex -Koran Koran

2010-09-08T19:22:00.002+01:00

Tomorrow is International Burn A Koran Day.

The movement is spearheaded by evangelical lunatic Terry Jones who has conveniently brought word wide media attention on himself and his small church of American freakballs by burning the book of the Muslim faith on the anniversary of the terrorist attacks in New York.

Obviously the move has been condemned by almost every political and religious leader on the planet. I didn't think it was a big deal at first until I noticed it wasn't " International burn a Korean day"

I cant get over the fact that this is even being allowed to even be entertained to even begin to be thought about? Folk will die if this goes ahead.

Anyway burning commences between the hours of 6 and 9.

AHHHHHHH

2010-09-06T01:26:00.001+01:00

Looky Likey

2010-09-05T17:52:00.003+01:00

Megadeath bad boy and rock god, Dave Mustaine

And Russian bad ass Prime Minister Vladimir Putin or Vladimir Poontang as I call him.

See......

Vague Hague

2010-09-02T19:24:00.003+01:00

That's Foreign Secretary and former leader of the Conservative Party William Hague had to release a statement confirming that he's not a bender and neither is his campaign aide, Quentin Crisp (pictured above).

It reminds me of little Britain when the David Walliams philandering politician character is stood at the gate of his house with his family explaining how he was "offering a young man a lift when he fell and accidentally penetrated him"

Who the fuck would care if the dude was gay. Really? ...well other than his wife who I would think would have a fair idea if he was or not anyway.

Shared a room together whilst away on business? Makes sense.

Up all night watching Sex and The City? Batter in.

Indulging in a bit of docking, feltching and drilling into the wee hours? wait wat??.

I must say the media done the dude no favours in the pictures the put up. The man himself and his aide frolicking about in tight wee T-shirts and Hage wearing a skip cap that you would expect some sort of faggot to wear.

Anywhoo gay or not, he's still a fud.

Think Like A Champ.....

2010-08-26T13:35:00.000+01:00

Looky Likey

2010-08-03T13:42:00.003+01:00

Apparent Celtic confidant and all round riddle.... Stuart Baxter

Original Hannibal Lecter, all round fud and former Rangers manager against Kilnockie in the cup final... Brian Cox

I've seen better...

2010-07-24T19:45:00.004+01:00

This is what I tell people my favourite film is. Dog Day Afternoon starring Al Pacino. A bank robber film that's thought of as "good" and sounds impressive cause it was made in 1975, was acclaimed and up for all sorts of awards. I've seen it twice. It was early in Pacino's career so he's got the high pitch thing going on and wasnt quite such the over actor he is today. Its based on a true story of a married gay dude who robs a bank to pay for his boyfriends sex change which results in a stand-off/hostage situation with the cops. Its hard work.

This is my actual favourite film. Dumb and Dumber starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. A stupid, buddy, road trip comedy that doesn't sound quite impressive when "that question" gets raised when your generally in company you don't know or are trying to impress. I've seen allot of films in my time but would take a good comedy like the above or Caddyshack or even any of the recent Judd Apatow films anyday over the rest but I couldn't possibly admit that to anyone I don't know.

Give us your fake favourite film and your actual favourite film...

Berlin

2010-07-15T13:02:00.002+01:00

I'm off to Berlin for the second time tomorrow. Its a great place to go with a gang for a stag although I've just found out the love parade isn't until the 24th which would have been better.

This time will be different and hopefully not consist of Irish bars, Nazi salutes and waking up on some angry German man's pool table.

I said that I would post pics of Whitley Bay but due to the nature of my intoxication that never really materialised. I will though make a conscious effort to document the weekend from start to finish.

The video is from last year, the dude on the bar is the guy thats getting married this year and I fired into the random lassie beside him yos.

Have a good weekend folks. Peace out niggas.

Guinbo Madness

2010-07-13T11:56:00.005+01:00

This is my new toy from Guinness. As like most people of Irish descent I enjoy a pint of this disgusting shite from time to time and as everybody knows "It just doesnt taste the same over her" Until now! Check this bad boy out. No longer must I wait till I visit Ireland for a good pint. Its the future.....Just watch the wee vid.

Back To The Future Was Right.

2010-07-11T23:32:00.002+01:00

Well done Spain!

Marty McFly could have made himself a packet never mind Paul the octopus.

Guess The Show.

2010-07-05T00:40:00.004+01:00

This song is the title of a well known TV show. Can you guess which?

I Only Want To Help You Rowland.

2010-06-30T21:51:00.002+01:00

My Paint skills are truly fantastic!!

..Anyway, This is someone I am really fed up of at the moment. James fucking Jabba the Hut Corden!!

I liked Gavin and Stacy, the fact that he was given credit for it baffles me and actually the more I see examples of his work outside the sitcom the more I truly believe that Ruth Jones ( a woman with a decent writing pedigree) is responsible for a huge proportion of it, in fact I think his input might have been along the lines of "Just play yourself James" Right. himself? A fat annoying English tosser? Seems to be about right.

Its all too easy to call some one fat, I mean looking at him makes most folk angry rather than the usual "look at the funny fat man" but wait, funny he isn't, a fact backed up by " Horn and Corden" The next thing he done with the equally annoying Matthew Horn or any of his presenting attempts.

Why does he seem to be so popular? why is he everywhere? It seems "fat English tosser" is what he does best and folk just cant get enough of "Smithy" Maybe slightly autobiographical? Lets hope it doesn't last.

The Corona Bar Review

2010-06-29T18:47:00.004+01:00

A south side bunnet shop for you now in Shawland's Corona Bar.

I'm not really a fan of Shawlands like most south-siders in their attempt to make out like its our answer to the west end. Its not ,and The Corona is a boozer typical of the area or so I thought.

The last time I was in this joint was a few years ago and it was like a scene from a 1930's western but something quite interesting has happened to this place. On a jaunt through Shawlands on a Friday night I ventured in, ironically in search of the "quiet pint" where all that was maybe gonna bother me was how many times auld Jimmy would fall off his stool but what I actually encountered was something different. The façade may be the same but on entering I found it to be a "lambrini girls" paradise. Brilliant.

A DJ, loads of dancing, loads of craic. A young single dude or group of dudes out on the pull's dream. Pity I was wearing a hoodie but the view wasnt half bad.

Gavs Rating 7/10

World Cup Woe

2010-06-26T12:16:00.007+01:00

Let my tell you why we are all losers in this world cup. Never mind the poor football, the failure of the European teams to get started, the constant drone of the ragman's trumpet. All that pales into insignificance (well maybe not the poor football but bare with me) when you realise what the true cause of the misery surrounding this tournament is.

There is a sporting coverage promised land, a wonderful place where Andy Grey, Martin Tyler, Geoff Stelling, Jamie Redknapp, some others who are not bad and Paul Merson all come out to play. None of these guys are particularly special and I wouldn't really be writing this if guys like Clive Tyldesley, Peter Drury, Jonathan Pearce and Guy Mowbray never existed.

Terrestrial TV has highlighted just how terrible the commentary or the lack there of has been!

Let me focus if I may on the emperor of verbal excrement, Clive Tyldesley. Awful awful awful. His constant nasal whine that grates on my nerves more so than the Fuzzy Zoeller's that have been set as the Phil Spector style wall of sound backdrop to this tournament. borderline racism and inability to get anything right, the most recent example being missing Luis Fabiano's double hand ball against the Ivory Coast until the third replay? This makes me question his neutrality, his eyesight, where he is situated in the stadium and if his monitors are maybe made from wood and mud. The man surly has to be eradicated, but how? He seems to be like a Man Utd loving cockroach that just wont go away. He is the worst at least but Jonathan "I knew Bobby Moore" Pearce is running him a close second in this tournament anyway.

I could go on and on about these abortions of men that are allowed to commentate and summarise on the culmination of 4 years of blood sweat tears, anticipation, excitement and elation. At the end of the day, its poor. The contollers of the programming and licence fees etc have let us down.

God, gone are the days of Barry Davis, Brian Moore and even John Motson, a breed that died out a long time ago and in doing so took with them the voice of the world cup.

Good Work

2010-06-22T11:34:00.002+01:00

Anatolia Football Club

2010-06-21T15:10:00.004+01:00

The birth of a new footballing nation has apparently taken place on Bridge Street next to the Sou Wester Tavern!?

On seeing this new social club, obviously an attempt to help the local Anatolian community by means of a charitable sports club and not a front to allow drugs to be sold in blatant view of everyone, I decided to do a bit of research.........

The vast majority of the people residing in Anatolia are Turks. Kurds who constitute a major community are the largest ethnic minority. Albanians, Arabs, Armenians, Bosnians, Circassians, Georgians, Greeks, Jews, Laz and a number of other ethnic groups live in Anatolia.....

I cant wait till their inaugural game.

Rivalry

2010-06-18T20:25:00.002+01:00

Living in the heart of Glasgow amongst one of the most passionate and bitter sporting rivalries has always fascinated me so its no surprise that I take an interest in the other great sporting feuds.

The NBA Lakers/Celtics rivalry is one that always captured my imagination so much so that I stayed up to five this morning to watch it come to its conclusion and see the Lakers win the play-off to become champions.(gutted I stayed up to fucking watch it now)

The rivalry they had going in the 80's was brilliant, the two best and most successful teams in the country with the two best players, east v west, black v white, Bird v Magic, Cancer v Aids.

Anyway folks give me some great rivalries sporting or otherwise we can check out.

PS Andy, Tits v Fanny doesn't count.

Daft Yanks

2010-06-13T17:13:00.000+01:00

I'm not complaining though.

Best T-Shirt Ever!!!

2010-06-11T23:15:00.003+01:00

I want one!

Background Noise Up

2010-06-11T14:50:00.005+01:00

Looks like Google are trying to keep up with Bing having introduced a programme that lets you set your own background wallpaper. The images are saved to a picasa style database for a public gallery. Here are my submissions.

Neil's Young and A Crazy Horse

2010-06-09T17:10:00.003+01:00

So a year on an another manager for the Celtic. It seems like an age ago when the optimism was ripping right oot me when Mowbray took over http://blogonson.blogspot.com/2009/06/mogwai.html.

I'm kind of exited but have decided to take the tact of just sitting back and seeing what happens. Our manager is now younger than the Rangers captain? bit weird but I like the guy, Ive met him a few time and he's a thoroughly decent chap.

One thing that has annoyed my especially towards the end of this season has been all the fanzine sites, podcasts, Twitter updates, breaking news and exclusives from ordinary fans like myself that think they are privy to inside information or that their opinion is right above anyone else's just because they took the time to dedicate an evening to posting their pish on the net.

Half truths and speculation seems to be the order of the day in this age of social networking information. Gone are the days of having to wait until ye bought a morning paper to find out if yer club had signed anyone.

White Men Cant.....

2010-06-07T10:35:00.002+01:00

How good was this? Watching Woody fae Cheers scoring the winning penalty in the Soccer Aid tournament in front of 67,000. folk.

One Year On

2010-06-03T00:24:00.002+01:00

That's me been doing this blog for a year. Weirdly I will be off to Berlin at the end of the month which is where I was last year when I decided to start it. I cant be bothered doing a year retrospective noting all the fantastic things I've done or more to the point failed to do. Its been pretty up and down.

I will though keep it up and try to post more interesting stuff maybe even deface another sign?Followers are few and far between these days other than the small blogging community I have become embroiled in.

Here's to another year of totally random shite.

Ben Nevis

2010-05-30T14:45:00.005+01:00

Yesterday myself and my mate, the previously featured Aiden Sharkey successfully climbed Ben Nevis, in a total time of 5hrs(up and down).

I must admit, I totally underestimated the challenge that lay ahead. The ascent was brutal absolutely soul destroying at times and that fact that passing you on their way back down are all sorts of old women and guys that you wouldn't even have thought could tackle the stairs never mind the highest mountain in the UK! What a sight it is though some of the best scenery I have ever seen slightly spoiled by some burd that felt the need to take a shite in full view of everyone on our way up.

Lose Weight or Die Trying

2010-05-27T17:50:00.003+01:00

In preparation for his new role as a Glasgow junkie.

Predictive Google

2010-05-19T19:26:00.004+01:00

I'm sure you've noticed the predictive thing Google does with a search, probably based on the most popular searches within a certain period. You don't realise how sinister they are (or can get) until you fuck about for a while to see what each prompt will yield, now I'm sure that Google have cleaned this up recently but none the less.....

( Click to Enlarge )

28

2010-05-14T21:16:00.004+01:00

That's me turning 28 tomorrow and to celebrate, and avoid the depression of getting another year closer to 30 we're heading down to Whitley Bay as part of a stag.

All sorts of hedonistic hi-jinx will ensue as a coach full of 40 south side mongrels head for what is fast becoming the stag Mecca . Part of me thinks that something will happen and part of me thinks that if something doest happen it will be a pretty shite stag.

....Plenty of pictures will be taken and posted soon so happy birthday to me, its gonna be messy.

The Difference .....

2010-05-12T20:05:00.005+01:00

Between the toilets in a gay bar and those in a hetro pub. The first two pics are the view one gets from the urinals in a gay bar I was in recently. As if my confidence wasn't bad enough.

Thank God For Sky Plus

2010-05-05T17:57:00.002+01:00

3 tits in this picture....

Pain in the Anas

2010-05-04T18:41:00.003+01:00

Right. Thats me back after a broadband malfunction.

Has anybody seen these wee things? Labour has really went all out in the campaigning stakes! Dressing up what is basically a mobility scooter, sticking a wee light on the top and getting some geezer to drive about on the pavement all day is pitiful!

Plus the dudes name is Anus...I mean Anas Sarwar.

Take A Cruse Today.....

2010-04-27T22:40:00.001+01:00

Boredom

2010-04-21T23:27:00.001+01:00

Bored down the pub....and I stole a pint glass. Result.

Boxing

2010-04-18T12:53:00.005+01:00

At the boxing on Friday to watch one of my best mates and Scottish(even though he's Irish) Middleweight Champion of the world, Ciaran "The Diamond" Duffy defend his belt. He won in six rounds, he's the lad in the green shorts.

Disappointing though the guest of honour Frank Bruno couldn't make it to the top table because of all the air plane craziness so we had to make do with Bertie Auld of Lisbon Lion fame and John Brown of Rangers fame along with some folk I had never heard off or really care about.

Was a good night, some cracking fights but 14.50 for 2 Tennents and 2 corona took the shine off it.

Noel showing his support (he never made that it was marking our table)

The score card girls were supplied by the main sponsor 7th Heaven.
In to the ring with his signature song "Why cant we be friends"
The Winner

Reverse The Fucking Charge

2010-04-08T22:19:00.004+01:00

This is what eight and a half thousand pound mobile phones look like.

I seen this on a short stroll through Argyle Arcade the other day, I don't know what's so special about them? They aren't diamond encrusted, they aint made of gold! In fact they are kind of big and clunky looking, bordering on old fashioned by today's standards. Maybe there is a direct line to god programmed in to the bastards. God help the numpty that wastes money on one of those!

Few Songs For The Long Weekend....

2010-04-01T17:19:00.002+01:00

Ecriture De Main Gauche

2010-04-01T16:27:00.002+01:00

I've not done one in a while but now and again I set myself a project, whether it be educational or a totally useless unproductive waste of time that I thought would be cool but I generally see it through.

Recent examples being slight of hand magic tricks for manual dexterity, teaching myself to play the guitar to the point where I could play Jose Gonzalez Heartbeats,the latter of which probably contributing allot to the break up of my relationship at the time(but that's a different post!) Learning to roll a coin across my fingers and doing pen spins, totally useless and time consuming!

I've decided to learn to write with my left hand,.Why? Cause I just fancied it. Something to concentrate on so from now on I will be doing most of my writing with my left hand.

So while in my own mind I will be thinking " ambidextrous genius" whoever's in receipt of my new found talent will be like " This dude is a retard, look at the state of this"

Here is my starting point http://handedness.org/action/leftwrite.html results will be posted.

Another 10 Things That Do My Nut In.

2010-03-29T23:14:00.004+01:00

Religion, cause it sucks.

The new Batman films. There I said it.

Michelle McManus.
Things I used to think were funny but are clearly not.
This fucking diddy ride.
Chinese folk.
Bus drivers. (look what he did to my car)
Idiots that get on TV.
Motivational Posters. They got old about 2 years ago.
Britney Fuckin Spears

There's not been enough...

2010-03-24T17:45:00.002Z

Midget Will Smith pics on here.

....In fact, what are your thoughts on Will Smith? I used to like the dude but every film he does is just about him. For the whole hour and a half or whatever its just him. Boring, wholesome, bankable Will Smith.

Mix it up Will, for your next role I command you play a banjo playing peado or something, maybe get your own back and murder uncle Phil.

Oh aye, and Hancock was shite.

Dowie Syndrome

2010-03-20T16:57:00.004Z

Bit of a footie moan here.

I would be utterly disappointed and more or less raging if I was a Hull City fan! Their decision to not only sack their manager during a relegation battle but to appoint one of the worst managers in the game is nothing less than shocking!

The guy in general is a complete arse going by the way he comes across on TV especially press conferences and Sky Sports news but he also has a fucking terrible track record as a manager. Twice being sacked after 15 games with 2 different clubs! being sacked from the other two after 2 and 1 seasons respectively.

I would be fucking livid if this guys name was ever associated with a club I followed. Plus he is one UGLY fucker! I mean really!

St Paddy's

2010-03-16T17:48:00.006Z

What's everyone doing for Paddy's day, If anything?

I'm working which is a bit of a gutter but will be nipping out at certain points to catch a pint or two as Im in the office the whole day. After 5 bells I'll be up to Molly Malones for a cheeky couple.

Here's to St Patrick who drove the snakes out of Ireland. Doubt he would do it today at over a pound a litre for petrol.

I know someone who will like this pic ...

The Court Bar Review

2010-03-15T18:15:00.005Z

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There’s a land that I’d heard of once in a lullaby…..

The Court Bar wasn’t that place but in keeping with the song’s loose association with those whom like their bread buttered on t’other side it seems quite fitting.

Sharks and myself certainly weren’t in Kansas anymore upon entering this fine establishment, don’t get me wrong the place, quite tidy and clean but when you walk into a pub at lunch time and the barman (who by the way bore more than a striking resemblance to Bruce, the gay guy with the tache from family guy) starts playing “its raining men” by the weather girls from behind the bar you know something aint quite right.

Cue the sudden realisation that we were in a “GAY BAR ,GAY BAR” I suppose the other bar tender with the Abe Lincoln beard, stove pipe hat and funky leotard should have gave the game away but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

It’s actually a decent wee place for a quick pint of an afternoon, situated on Hutcheson Street in the Merchant City it’s a nice setting also with yawn windows that open right out in the summer. Price wise wasn’t too bad either for the city centre, 3 pints coming to £8…One of them being a Magners!....Thats right, 3 pints as we were joined on our quest to the Emerald City by the scarecrow of our group in that “If he only had a brain” he’d be doing well.

Like the land of OZ being of the weird and wonderful this place was no different but at the end of the day there’s no place like home.

Gav/Sharks Rating 5/10

The Oriental Bar Review

2010-03-11T18:26:00.002Z

Following on from last weeks' respite from the now seemingly 'Pond-life Tour of Glasgow City Centre Pubs', where we adjourned to the state of Nirvana that can only be experience with a friday afternoon's relax in the surroundings of the November in Princes Square, we decided that we would bring ourselves back down to earth with the kind of 'Big Bang' that could make Prof S Hawking stand up and run for air!!

Maybe it was the fact I was still p*shed from the night before, or maybe it was the sudden rush of boozer Xenophobia, but this place has to be the most interesting of our excursions so far.

On entrance, a few things smack you right in the mouth, though primarily the feeling of boarding a plane in the coldest of west of Scotland winters and stepping off in the searing heat of the July Costa del Scorchio, but rather substitute the unbearable temperature with a smell from betwix excrement and Lord Lucan's athlete's foot and a noise level of the only empty tent at T coming from the bar area (the latter of which was honestly Chris Rea’s Road to Hell for the entire time we were there, quite fitting on this occasion) and you'll gain some insight into the sheer strength of character and belief in what we have embarked upon, spurring us on to purchase a 'refreshment' and give an honest account of this scene merging Trainspotting and Star Wars.

The bar was quite litterally flies round the proverbial, with an array of weird and weirderful characters and in one growth attached to a stool (or should that be the other way round) we found out where the smell was coming from.

The beer was standard fair for city centre prices etc but in all honesty that was the least of my worries, as on taking our seats we found oursleves being given the least effective under cover surveillance op ever from a young fellow sitting on his own staring at us with an eerie smirk on his face, as if to be deciding what kind of wine to have us with that night!

The only saving grace with the rapidness in which we were served our ale, ale which was clearly suited to the clientelle that the establishment had waved a white flag and resigned itself to, though nonetheless a wide enough selection considering. Had it not been for this swift service we may still be there on all fours on the ground looking for our teeth and eyebrows!!

All in all, the place was a dive, plain and simple and one that’s gonna take some beating.

Gav/Sharks Rating 3/10

The 10 commandments.

2010-03-08T20:33:00.003Z

Here are just a few of my favourite sexual practices....

1. alaskan pipeline- The act of shitting in to a condom, freezing the rubber overnight, then inserting it in to ones anus.

2. Strawberry Shortcake-The action in which the male ejaculates on his partner's face, and then the male punches his partner's nose, which causes blood to stream forth. The semen and blood fluids create a red and white image, just like the icing and filling of a strawberry shortcake.

3.Glass Bottom Boat- When a person shits on on top of a glass table, while someone under neath masturbates to it. like as you would watch fish in a real glass bottom boat.

4.Chilli Dog- The act of shitting a females chest and proceding to titty fuck her.

5.Rusty Trombone- To get rimmed whilst recieving a hearty reach round, thus resembling a trombone player in full chorus.

6.Cincinnati Bowtie- When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie.

7. Angry Dragon- Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon

8.Alligator Fuckhouse- A daring sexual maneuver: Mid-coitus, one person bites the neck of the other, locks their arms and legs down and goes into a deathroll, all while maintaining insertion. Like downshifting a car!

9.Alabama Hot Pocket-The art of seperating the vagina lips and taking a shat inside (and possibly having sex with it afterwards)

10.Birmingham booty call-Put your woman's cell phone on vibrate, stick it up her ass, and as you are having sex, call her phone, have her shit it out, answer it, and talk dirty to you as you cum on her face.

Archer

2010-03-03T19:41:00.004Z

I came across this one night by accident. I think is was actually because I started to watch Rab C Nesbitt one night and had to turn away in disgust after 10 seconds!...Anyway lucky for me I switched to one of those daft channel 5 channels that I always forget about and stumbled upon Archer.
Witty, fresh, hilarious and fantastic dialogue! Just shows the difference between good writing and bad which in my opinion is the difference between American stuff and the shite WE have to endure.

I would recommend giving it a watch, as I say its on one of those daft C5 channels or FX on Sky.

Peace out x

The Yorkshire Rapper

2010-03-02T18:46:00.004Z

That's the Yorkshire Ripper pushing for a release again, this time taking it to the court of human rights.

It just makes me wonder if ITV2 will get in about him for a "What Pete did next" type program or maybe a relaunch as the "Yorkshire Rapper" re-releasing "Return of The Mack" by the fabled Mark Morrison maybe coupled with the double A side "Mack the Knife".

Anyway here is the man himself when Jim fixed it for him to meet fellow mad man and indeed woman hater Frank Bruno.

Sloans Review

2010-02-24T16:30:00.003Z

Did anyone know this place existed? I didn’t! Until about a year ago when they started advertising on Buchannan Street with the wee pointy arrows propped up by half conscious students directed down a dark lane that’s tied in with some sort of wee daft market that I doubt anyone has ever bought anything out of! Turns out it’s the oldest pub in Glasgow!?

Anyway, I thought a break from the norm this week would be good as the old mans pubs of this world were getting to me big time! And what a world of a difference it was!

Lovely wee place with a well stocked bar (no magners though) and friendly staff. This place seems to cater out of the ordinary also in a Grovner fashion as they show classic films with an option of a meal or a bottle of wine etc at the weekend in “the Ball Room” above.

Price wise they were off the mark as 3 drinks we ordered came to a total of £10.60 but I suppose you pay that bit extra for a nice setting and the smell of decent food as opposed to the constant threat of a knifing and the smell of sulphur mixed with stale beer.

No funny incidents to speak of other than one of the bar staff looking like Emo Phillips and finding out my unemployed mate who joined us can’t miss an episode of Jamie and his magic torch and doesn’t quite fully understand the rules to Jasper Carrot’s “Golden Balls”

This is a place I actually would recommend and will be frequenting again!

Gav/Sharks rating……7/10 (marked down only for the price in this recession)

IM Jolly

2010-02-23T18:20:00.006Z

That's me been ordained a reverend through the "Universal Life Church Monastery" I came back from lunch to find this on my desk after lunch. I'm actually quite chuffed,I can now perform weddings in my spare time and fuck all the young boys I want. Two birds, one stone ...boom!

Stag Hag

2010-02-18T18:12:00.005Z

Another year brings another glut of weddings but more importantly another round of stag do's that while providing hilarious drunken memories eats right in to my own holiday time.
Anyway, this year already it's Whitley Bay in May and Berlin again in July. I'm looking forward to Berlin for a few reasons, It was really enjoyable last year, its relatively cheap and I want to see if that menchie I left on a pretty famous building is still there.

Yaaaas for the Stags.

Check out my mad gay Hitler salute on the end! An actual German took the pic. He wasn't impressed.

Renfield Bar Review

2010-02-13T10:58:00.003Z

You’ve just pawned all your worldly goods for £63.45 in Cash Converters on Renfield Street in Glasgow’s bustling city centre. Drug habits have to be paid for somehow but, what’s this nestled right by the bus that will take me back to my now empty flat? It would be rude not to with my new found wealth!

The Renfield Bar on Renfield Street (surprisingly). Where? What?.. I know, I know, but trust me, it's there, and has been for some years, apparently going under the guise of Cecil’s and Wypers back in the days when there were trams in the city, Scottish football was good and darth was at an age where he could still keep up with us young fella’s (sorry lad). Wait a minute, Cecil’s?? Not a chance that craic would fly in this day and age!

I’ll keep this brief cause the reviews of these places are all going the same way! The first thing that hits you as you walk in the door is that stale pub smell, or Jimmy in the corner as we call it in the trade, pretty strong but fades within minutes, the beer would be irkingly no cheaper than you would get in Edwards down the road, a place I would be seen dead in, but worth the pennies for the novelty and autonomy! The pub is homely enough and interestingly has a booth like area adjacent to the bar complete with hatch for serving. I believe this was common place in many Glasgow bars back in the early 20th century, so even though the décor may have changed (although not likely) the lay out of the place has probably been status quo for longer than your mammy's had eyes!!

Food served, although not sampled, TV’s everywhere and most importantly a non threatening atmosphere for a Friday afternoon pint.

The only eyebrow raising moment was while Sharks and my good self were pondering the likelihood of Einstein’s worm hole theory and indeed questioning our very own existence…and oh weather Peter Barlow will get off the beer or if Darius actually IS an Operastar, a figure entered in what can only be best described as eyegoresque from Young Frankenstein, charged past us and straight into the lavatory (possibly laboratory), I think he was muttering “Beware The Ides of March” ….strange.

Anyway, unfortunately marks off for the smell and the barmaid eating a sandwich AND a soup whilst serving me and not quite getting round to seeing Sharks alright for his 4th pint due to her 'Diet Smoke Break', but wouldn't hold it against the establishment for one individuals hasty treatment of 'blow ins'. However.........

Gav/Sharks rating 5/10

Grant Arms Review

2010-02-09T20:25:00.002Z

Well here we are again with another insightful foray in to the world of city centre bars that you never though you would set foot in being the hip, young and indeed trendy things that you are.

They’re here they’re queer and The Grant Arms is no exception.

This wee out of place boozer is situated on the corner of Argyle Street directly across from where the once mighty Tower Records thrived and fell. Distinctive for is almost Tudor-like appearance and if I’m not mistaken its reputation for being one of the rougher shops in the town.

On entering the one thing that strikes you is the bowling club-esque décor complete with the kind of tables you get in a primary school cafeteria and a bar that is the right length and height to slam a shutter down if need be.

The menu looks quite good, although a 6oz rib eye steak costing £3.30 (with chips or potatoes) and the pepper sauce (which lets face it you need!!!) costing a further £1.20??

The place was as you’d expect full of auld people in for a swift half and a half, two old ones in particular you could tell had been married for about 60 years cause they didn’t face each other once or say a single word the whole time they were in!

Staff wise, we were fine and got a warm welcome the second time around once the barman realised that the 2 guys in the suits with the folders weren’t bailiffs or in there in any way to cause trouble!

So not to shabby, the atmosphere wasn’t as good and the place was a bit cold but handy for a quick pint and a relatively cheap bite.

Gav/Sharks Rating 6/10.

Poor Middlesbrough!

2010-02-01T19:49:00.002Z

Alfredo's Bar Review

2010-01-30T11:53:00.001Z

Alfredo’s Bar situated on West Nile Street (named after either the jewel on the Nile starring Michael Douglas or the small 10p chocolate treat), once again synonymous with the older gentlemen of this world (you see where we are going with this review campaign).

The first time I ever had any critic on this place it was to proudly boast how they served 16 year olds with out interrogation back in the late 80’s early 90’s. No harm done then, but questionable as the years pass and patience thins.

This establishment AND city centre heavy weight is a total juxtaposition from the entrance until you get to the bar, an unsuspecting and passable facade is met with a long narrow thoroughfare (no crude comparisons please) with seating on both sides, not out with the realms of any middle of the road bistro in town, all be it with slightly dated furnishings, but not really anything that would worry or even draw the attention of anyone who was there to do what the good Lord intended. Don’t be fooled because a bustling bar with a further seating area complete with sedimentary stalwarts, 6 or 7 TV’s, elaborate and presumably relevant football and boxing memorabilia all over the walls makes for an enjoyable and educational pint.

Although…..On calling a Magners and Cold Guinness (an all important rating factor), I found myself met with a “girl” at the bar who proceeded to bark at me several times “pine oor a boatel”. On the third attempt at clarifying what can only be decribed as a 'simple round' I soon but realised she was just as simple a "girl" as her arguing with "Hairy-Arsed Joe and Billy the Bunnet" during my purchase lead to the poor wee soul not hearing a word I said and leaving me thinking I had wronged her in some way!! A second altercation with what can only be described as the ugly half-brother of Dolores Clayborne would have been too much for this aficionado, so in her second attempt in a somewhat violent enquiry as to whether “ a wanted a pint oor a foukin boatel” I sheepishly replied “bottle”. A grunt, a growl, and probably her phone number if i'd asked, later, the deal had been done and the rest of the hour was an unsurprisingly, yet further humoured by events, enjoyable one.

Gav’s rating 5/10 (verging on a 7 on potenetial of a future, unscheduled, visit)

The Gallery Bar Review

2010-01-28T17:39:00.002Z

Working out of the city centre has his perks, myself and my good friend Aiden have decided to sample the lesser known pubs in the town and do a small review, we start with one I've always wanted to have a pint in but never got the chance....until now.

The Gallery Bar situated on Buchannan Street(named after Mitch Buchannan) between The subway and that statue of some guy that always used to get fcuked before they “put it up high and that”

The Gallery is noted in society for its exquisite taste and to be fair is quite a decent pub, for whatever reason (and I may not be alone here) has always been synonymous with the “bunnet shops” ( you know who you are goose) of this fair city meaning that if your sick on the floor and the most they put down is sawdust then you’ve backed a wrong’un. The fact that it relies mainly on the local clientele does not fail it in it's ability to attract the tourist, and it's array of habitual drinks and drinkers only adds to the ambience sought after by the foreigner looking for a 'handy pint' in the heart of the city!!

BUT this place actually punches above its proverbial as the décor is nice the pints are good(most importantly) and the bar staff seem quite friendly. They serve food and have a large projector screen which all in all is pretty good for a small pub that relies mainly on a passing trade…..

Gav’s rating 7/10

I Love To Deface A Good Billboard

2010-01-25T22:33:00.001Z

Boys. It will all end in rape!

2010-01-20T21:45:00.002Z

Get On My Horse

2010-01-19T21:33:00.000Z

Chaz The Animal Steel

2010-01-12T18:17:00.004Z

Meet my mate Chaz.
I thought I'd share a story with you about the lovable fella.
The day of the old firm game Charlie boy got a bit peckish and so decided to fuck off to Mickey D's for a big mac meal or some such processed garbage. During his 6th McNugget the slightly sozzled 21 year old (that's right 21) proceeded to shite himself.
The thing I admire the most is that this young man child calmly shuffled into the McWash cleaned himself up and left his manky scants on the cistern for the next fella (probably a child) to find.

Chaz now joins an elite band. those who have shat there self and carried on drinking without anyone knowing. Well done son, you broke yer cherry.

Who's Copying Who?

2010-01-07T22:25:00.005Z

Amputee Snowman Porn

2010-01-07T18:37:00.003Z

With a can of coke up his arse no less. What's not to love?

Lookey Likey

2010-01-06T23:23:00.001Z

Ugly and annoying the pair.

It Doesnt Matter....

2010-01-05T18:32:00.000Z

.....Cause she's still honking!

Kelly's Heros

2010-01-02T12:28:00.006Z

I recently had a request to give someone a shout on the blog.
As you may be aware my local Kellys is a very weird and wonderful place.
One anomaly that has intrigued me since the very start of my tenure there is the bar staff.So this request has inspired me to serialise a profile of each member of the current staff! some hum dingers have came and went but the current crop stand up to all that is wrong with the general public today.

So meet my first profile.
The lovely Seonaid X
The youngest member of the staff although verification of her age remains sketchy at best, she claims to be 19.
A native of "somewhere in Glasgow" she couldn't read or write until she was 12 due to the depravity in the area.
Her nick name at school was apparently the "hoover" and her party piece at the bar includes sucking a golf ball through a straw.
Always warm and friendly (maybe a little too much some might say)and can nearly pull a full pint all by herself, there seems to be a change issue though as many drunken punters seem to be paying a bit too much for their round so watch out for that.

So all in all a decent member of staff.

Gav's rating 7/10

Celebrity Watch

2009-12-29T18:45:00.002Z

How surprised was I when former Spice Girl Mel B turned up in my local?
Even my mate Mick came back from the dead to get a cheeky pic taken with her.
Ya bastard ya

Stay Away From The Light

2009-12-27T11:04:00.003Z

Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.
Some idiots wake up during the night with a sore tummy and decide to waste valuable resources by calling an ambulance to take him to the hospital so they could prescribe Rennes.

Twit.

Sno(w)

2009-12-21T18:40:00.005Z

I fucking hate it.
Why does everyone love having a white Christmas?
The country shuts down.
Everyone ends up on their cunt at some stage.
Granny's die.
Planes cant fly.
Car accidents go up.

Its pure shite.

The Baw's Behind You.

2009-12-20T15:32:00.004Z

looks like second rate Celtic striker and all round fat eejit Scott McDonald has turned his hand to panto.

More suited to playing grumpy in snow white the cunt's gonna have to settle for a magic lamp to help his game.

I'm not a fan.

PC World

2009-12-16T19:39:00.004Z

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose?
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place

Stranger Than Fiction.

2009-12-14T20:37:00.003Z

How weird was my first day back after a month of doing nothing?

4 full weeks of getting fucked up almost every day, putting on about 2 stone, growing a tache and making short work of the new Mario game for the Wii it was time to get back into it.

I sat there and done fuck all but boring competency modules and will be doing the same all week.FUCK!!!

Faux Pas

2009-12-07T13:15:00.003Z

I recently went to a fancy dress party with a cracking idea for a costume.
I went as John McLean of Die Hard fame.

It didn't go down to well for some reason. Awkward.

Someone Should Die For This.

2009-12-02T13:09:00.001Z

Wee fat fuck.

Death Watch

2009-11-27T22:50:00.003Z

There are a few celebs that I've put on death watch.

Top of my list is Maggie Thatcher who I'm giving till match.

Others have to be

Michael J. Fox
Nelson Mandela
Christopher Lee
And I'm gonna throw in a wild card in Britney Spears.

So good luck to all of you but don't let me down.

As always suggestions and additions are welcome.

Meet Cleverbot

2009-11-24T15:14:00.003Z

Having lots of free time, being stuck indoors with all the bad weather has left me sitting on-line for the most part. I came across this. Cleverbot http://www.cleverbot.com/
Its an artificial intelligence programme that
you can converse with, asking questions or whatever. I was at it the other night for a bit and if you can be bothered it gets so bizarre and removed from reality its actually quite funny. Was a bit like having a yahoo chat session with Roy Batty from Blade Runner. After that its back to the porn.

Words Can't Describe...

2009-11-20T23:40:00.001Z

How much I fucking love Roy Keane.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdVZYAd7pv4

The Moustache My Father Wore

2009-11-20T12:16:00.005Z

That's me been growing a tache since the start of November or Movember as its been renamed for the sake of charity.

The thing about it is everyone else knows how fucking stupid you look apart from you because you forget its there! So to anyone thinking about growing one of these fucking things expect lots of strange looks and sniggers for reasons unknown until you finally realise that you look like a 1970's provo.

Then there is the fact you look like a complete faggot! The tache has long been synonymous with gay men and looking at myself in the mirror, being a chore at the best of times has now been made a more self deprecating experience due to the fact that the word "FAG" now enters my head at the sight of my Borat-esque appearance.

So there it is. A young man in this day and age should not have a moustache and if you do or want to be prepared for the mental turmoil that is surly going to enter your vain little bonce.

Les Miserables

2009-11-19T12:49:00.002Z

I'm a big fan of Henry, I've always thought he was a good guy and a wonderful player and I still do to be honest. The way he cheated was wrong and its only himself who has to deal with that.

The fact that everything was against the "smaller" nations from the moment the play-offs were drawn is the most disappointing thing. The ref seemed against Ireland from the outset last night and some of the decisions were shocking.

Fifa need to take a long hard look at themselves. Fucking bastards.

Gardening Leave

2009-11-14T12:58:00.003Z

That's me on gardening leave so I'm aff for a month.

What this suggests to me is that ma former company does not trust me as far as they could throw me so they decided not to take the chance and informed me by letter.

A quick trip to the office to pick up some personal shizz and say cheerio to the gals in the typing pool and its onwards and upwards. disappointing though as I didnt get to steal all I wanted!

Good Idea Bad Idea

2009-11-13T20:38:00.004Z

Time for some good idea/ bad idea's.

Good Idea
Playing football with your son.
Bad Idea
Playing football WITH your son.

Good Idea
Having lunch with your granda.
Bad Idea
Having sex with your granda.

Good Idea
Feeding your cat some fish.
Bad Idea
Feeding your fish some cat

Good Idea
Taking your mum to dinner.
Bad Idea
Taking your mum at dinner.

Good Idea
Taking a shite.
Bad Idea
TAKING a shite.

anymore?

New Job!!!

2009-11-10T19:30:00.003Z

That's yer auld da been offered a new job at last! Turns oot that head hunting mob came through.

I'm made up! you've no idea how a bad working environment can effect you! Its terrible and no amount of skiving or general tomfoolery can make up for it! I hand the auld notice in on Thursday but I was thinking about doing the resignation like a ransom note with squares cut out from the news paper for a laugh.

Any funny resignation suggestions are welcome!

Yaaaas for a new Job!

Men At Work

2009-11-09T20:01:00.005Z

Recently in work I've been finding that my jacket has been tampered with come 5pm.
Arms tied together, mugs in my pockets etc..

Through my Sherlock Holmes ingenuity though I managed to track down the sneaky perpetrator.

Payback time me thinks.

Watch out down Prestwick way!

Welcome Ohgosh

2009-11-09T19:35:00.002Z

Been ages since a got a new follower and am made up so a thought I'd do a Hi post!

Cheers for joining hen, Mr Yum be a lucky man!

10 Things I Hate About Me

2009-11-04T08:46:00.001Z

Here is just a small sample of some of the fucked up things I do.

1. Embellish stories of things that happen to me to make it sound more interesting.

2. Tell other peoples stories from my perspective thus making ME sound more interesting.

3. Buy food but dont eat it.

4. Buy clothes but never wear them.

5. Avoid any responsibility what-so-ever for my actions.

6. Deliberately annoy folk for my own amusement.

7. Pick random people in queues to hate while I'm waiting. Forming a pretty bad opinion of them with no information other than the way they look/are dressed.

8. Will literally sink to any low for a laugh.

9. Rarely care about anything/one other than myself.

10. Remain in at state of constant annoyance about people/places/things etc.

Waiting to Explode

2009-10-31T10:13:00.003Z

When did Whitney Houston become a stone wall heidcase? Mad adverts for some new album has her looking like a fucked up tranny. She must be about 50 or something but come on tae fuck.

This brings me to another pet hate of mine, the term "Diva".I fucking hate it. Its basically a word to describe an older(usually) female singer who is also a total cunt.

Other famous past it female total cunt singers include...

Mariah Carey.
Madonna.
Tina Turner.
Mary J Blige.
..And Elton John.

10k

2009-10-27T19:38:00.003Z

That's me done the 10k for the big C.My time? a very respectable 47mins thank you very much.

The thing that annoyed me tho was this wee fella, he must have been about 20 years older than me but at about 5k he and I got into a wee bit of a dog fight overtaking each other until he just made off and I couldn't catch him, fuckin auld prick! done me a beauty!

The Extra Mile.

2009-10-22T09:14:00.001+01:00

My company is doing a drive at the moment to win back corporate business that was lost last year for whatever reson, The campaign has been originally titled "We want you back" and involves a letter being sent out at the start of evry month to the various companies so the guys can follow it up with a call or whatever.

I was asked along with a couple of others to look at the letter, rewrite it and send it back to the boss.

This was my effort, I dont think she was impressed.

Mr Jon Doe
Blythswood Street
Glasgow
Scotland
G2 7AT

22nd September 2009

Dear Mr Doe,

Re: Insurance Review

When I had you to myself I didn't want you around. Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd. But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took Now it's much too late for me to take a second look

Oh baby give me one more chance (show you that I love you) Won't you please let me(back in your heart)Oh darlin' I was blind to let you go(let you go baby)But now since I see you in his arms(I want you back)Yes I do now(I want you back) Ooh ooh baby (I want you back)Ya ya ya ya (I want you back)
Na na na na

Your sincerely,

David Gavigan
Commercial Executive
Direct Dial 123456 789
Email –

Ich Bein Ein a Winner!

2009-10-20T22:46:00.002+01:00

A comment in an earlier post reminded me of something.

On a recent trip to Berlin we ended up in in Irish themed bar called Oscar Wilds to which given my surroundings I kept referring to as Oscar Schindlers. Funny stuff no?

Then it hit me, on my return to Glasgow I was gonna open a German themed bar. But what would I call such an establishment?

That's right..... Schindler's Pissed.

Ideas like this only come every so often and I cant see any problems with the name!

I Think....

2009-10-20T22:33:00.004+01:00

Kasabian frontman and all round fud Tom Meighan looks like.....

Eastenders resident hedonistic homosexual Christian Clarke, who it turns out is gay in real life....who would have thought!

Sky Sports Jews

2009-10-20T22:15:00.002+01:00

The Sky Sports News dude looks like he is dying or is a junkie.

I noticed a while ago that he was getting thinner but for fuck sake, he looks like something out of Schindler's List.

They should make him wear wee stripy pyjamas.

Blank Canvas

2009-10-19T18:51:00.003+01:00

So I'm running a 10k for cancer on Sunday, this is what they send you in the pack that comes to your door, its to stick to your back so folk can see who your running for.

I'm guessing most folk will have the usual. Granny, Mum, Gramps, Faither. I'm thinking of something different though, something that will raise a smile with the folk behind me.
Any suggestions are welcome! along the lines of

I'm running for

President.....

The Bus......

The toilet after that curry last night....

Your Day Breaks Your Mind Aches

2009-10-18T12:36:00.004+01:00

The day totally got away from me yesterday, what started out as a few pints around 5 after the football turned in to a drunken mess that culmanated with me falling asleep on the sofa with a pizza until 4am now with a cunt of a sore back and hangover, Sunday is a write aff tae! We get two days off a week and this is how I choose to spend them! Pfffft!

Vocation Vocation Vocation

2009-10-13T15:12:00.000+01:00

Funny how some people just look like they should be in their current profession eh?

I walked by the wee woman that cleans the toilets in the office today and she just looks like thats what she should be doing, pity really that her face fits with one who should be scrubbing the bogs in some office in the town.

There are alot of sales types in here too that fit the bill exactly. smarmy , greasy boombastic gobshites! couldnt imagine them doing anytrhing else other than trying to rip hard working folk aff!

Dosnt work for eveyone mind you but there are some people who after you've aske the question "What does he do then" you always reply "of corse he fucking does, look at him"

Girls Gone Wild

2009-10-09T09:57:00.001+01:00

I seen a thing recently for "Girls Gone Wild"

I cant remember if it was the internet of on TV but the premise of the show is to film young American girls on "spring break" or "Mardi Gras" flashing their tits, getting drunk and getting aff with each other.

It got me thinking that when GIRLS go wild this is the type of behavior that is expected. What if it was Women go wild?

When WOMEN go wild they kill men! Who wants to see fucking women go wild!? Why do I think about this shit.

Headhunter

2009-10-08T20:35:00.005+01:00

A funny thing happened today.

I was approached by a headhunter representing another company. I'm still a bit confused about the whole thing but from what the guy said it seemed gen up and he did know allot about me and the guys he was representing, as I know them well.

I have to speak to him tomorrow so I suppose time will tell. weird.

Fred Savage

2009-10-06T20:38:00.004+01:00

Not been enough Fred Savage on here.

Shenanigans

2009-10-05T18:15:00.004+01:00

Meet Aiden Sharkey. This is him Sunday night trying to get to grips with the Old Firm loss.

I have to put up with this shit all the time.

Snooker Roofied Sluts Are We

2009-10-03T16:11:00.007+01:00

The Snooker is on in the background.

A match taking place between Marco Fu and this chap, who to me looks like a rapist.

This is the picture Mark Davis chose to use as a reference when he is playing a match on the BBC!? It looks like a mug shot of a date rapist.

Marco has his work cut out for the next round, look who he has drawn....