Celebrity Watch

How surprised was I when former Spice Girl Mel B turned up in my local?
Even my mate Mick came back from the dead to get a cheeky pic taken with her.
Ya bastard ya

Stay Away From The Light

Some men are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.
Some idiots wake up during the night with a sore tummy and decide to waste valuable resources by calling an ambulance to take him to the hospital so they could prescribe Rennes.

Twit.

Sno(w)

I fucking hate it.
Why does everyone love having a white Christmas?
The country shuts down.
Everyone ends up on their cunt at some stage.
Granny's die.
Planes cant fly.
Car accidents go up.

Its pure shite.

The Baw's Behind You.

looks like second rate Celtic striker and all round fat eejit Scott McDonald has turned his hand to panto.

More suited to playing grumpy in snow white the cunt's gonna have to settle for a magic lamp to help his game.

I'm not a fan.

PC World

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose?
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place

Stranger Than Fiction.

How weird was my first day back after a month of doing nothing?

4 full weeks of getting fucked up almost every day, putting on about 2 stone, growing a tache and making short work of the new Mario game for the Wii it was time to get back into it.

I sat there and done fuck all but boring competency modules and will be doing the same all week.FUCK!!!

Faux Pas

I recently went to a fancy dress party with a cracking idea for a costume.
I went as John McLean of Die Hard fame.

It didn't go down to well for some reason. Awkward.

Someone Should Die For This.

Wee fat fuck.