Sloans Review

Did anyone know this place existed? I didn’t! Until about a year ago when they started advertising on Buchannan Street with the wee pointy arrows propped up by half conscious students directed down a dark lane that’s tied in with some sort of wee daft market that I doubt anyone has ever bought anything out of! Turns out it’s the oldest pub in Glasgow!?

Anyway, I thought a break from the norm this week would be good as the old mans pubs of this world were getting to me big time! And what a world of a difference it was!

Lovely wee place with a well stocked bar (no magners though) and friendly staff. This place seems to cater out of the ordinary also in a Grovner fashion as they show classic films with an option of a meal or a bottle of wine etc at the weekend in “the Ball Room” above.

Price wise they were off the mark as 3 drinks we ordered came to a total of £10.60 but I suppose you pay that bit extra for a nice setting and the smell of decent food as opposed to the constant threat of a knifing and the smell of sulphur mixed with stale beer.

No funny incidents to speak of other than one of the bar staff looking like Emo Phillips and finding out my unemployed mate who joined us can’t miss an episode of Jamie and his magic torch and doesn’t quite fully understand the rules to Jasper Carrot’s “Golden Balls”

This is a place I actually would recommend and will be frequenting again!

Gav/Sharks rating……7/10 (marked down only for the price in this recession)

IM Jolly

That's me been ordained a reverend through the "Universal Life Church Monastery" I came back from lunch to find this on my desk after lunch. I'm actually quite chuffed,I can now perform weddings in my spare time and fuck all the young boys I want. Two birds, one stone ...boom!

Stag Hag

Another year brings another glut of weddings but more importantly another round of stag do's that while providing hilarious drunken memories eats right in to my own holiday time.
Anyway, this year already it's Whitley Bay in May and Berlin again in July. I'm looking forward to Berlin for a few reasons, It was really enjoyable last year, its relatively cheap and I want to see if that menchie I left on a pretty famous building is still there.

Yaaaas for the Stags.

Check out my mad gay Hitler salute on the end! An actual German took the pic. He wasn't impressed.

Renfield Bar Review

You’ve just pawned all your worldly goods for £63.45 in Cash Converters on Renfield Street in Glasgow’s bustling city centre. Drug habits have to be paid for somehow but, what’s this nestled right by the bus that will take me back to my now empty flat? It would be rude not to with my new found wealth!

The Renfield Bar on Renfield Street (surprisingly). Where? What?.. I know, I know, but trust me, it's there, and has been for some years, apparently going under the guise of Cecil’s and Wypers back in the days when there were trams in the city, Scottish football was good and darth was at an age where he could still keep up with us young fella’s (sorry lad). Wait a minute, Cecil’s?? Not a chance that craic would fly in this day and age!

I’ll keep this brief cause the reviews of these places are all going the same way! The first thing that hits you as you walk in the door is that stale pub smell, or Jimmy in the corner as we call it in the trade, pretty strong but fades within minutes, the beer would be irkingly no cheaper than you would get in Edwards down the road, a place I would be seen dead in, but worth the pennies for the novelty and autonomy! The pub is homely enough and interestingly has a booth like area adjacent to the bar complete with hatch for serving. I believe this was common place in many Glasgow bars back in the early 20th century, so even though the décor may have changed (although not likely) the lay out of the place has probably been status quo for longer than your mammy's had eyes!!

Food served, although not sampled, TV’s everywhere and most importantly a non threatening atmosphere for a Friday afternoon pint.

The only eyebrow raising moment was while Sharks and my good self were pondering the likelihood of Einstein’s worm hole theory and indeed questioning our very own existence…and oh weather Peter Barlow will get off the beer or if Darius actually IS an Operastar, a figure entered in what can only be best described as eyegoresque from Young Frankenstein, charged past us and straight into the lavatory (possibly laboratory), I think he was muttering “Beware The Ides of March” ….strange.

Anyway, unfortunately marks off for the smell and the barmaid eating a sandwich AND a soup whilst serving me and not quite getting round to seeing Sharks alright for his 4th pint due to her 'Diet Smoke Break', but wouldn't hold it against the establishment for one individuals hasty treatment of 'blow ins'. However.........

Gav/Sharks rating 5/10

Grant Arms Review

Well here we are again with another insightful foray in to the world of city centre bars that you never though you would set foot in being the hip, young and indeed trendy things that you are.

They’re here they’re queer and The Grant Arms is no exception.

This wee out of place boozer is situated on the corner of Argyle Street directly across from where the once mighty Tower Records thrived and fell. Distinctive for is almost Tudor-like appearance and if I’m not mistaken its reputation for being one of the rougher shops in the town.

On entering the one thing that strikes you is the bowling club-esque décor complete with the kind of tables you get in a primary school cafeteria and a bar that is the right length and height to slam a shutter down if need be.

The menu looks quite good, although a 6oz rib eye steak costing £3.30 (with chips or potatoes) and the pepper sauce (which lets face it you need!!!) costing a further £1.20??

The place was as you’d expect full of auld people in for a swift half and a half, two old ones in particular you could tell had been married for about 60 years cause they didn’t face each other once or say a single word the whole time they were in!

Staff wise, we were fine and got a warm welcome the second time around once the barman realised that the 2 guys in the suits with the folders weren’t bailiffs or in there in any way to cause trouble!

So not to shabby, the atmosphere wasn’t as good and the place was a bit cold but handy for a quick pint and a relatively cheap bite.

Gav/Sharks Rating 6/10.

Poor Middlesbrough!