Love Juice

Tennis?

Its alright eh? I watched the Murray marathon last night and thought it was brilliant but I dont think I could watch two fannys that i'd never heard of play in one of the wee daft courts outside. Not interested in that pish.

Yer Federers, Nadals & Murrays, thats all i'm interested in watching really. It switched over to some mad game for a bit and I immediately thought "fuck that" and turned away to catch a bit of Corrie.

The fans done my nut in tho, evey time there was a break in play it panned across to the same group of fud farts in the crowd making complete cunts of themselves,...the Union Jack "British" tag that all the english press have given him is annoying, if he gets beat you know dam well it will be "Scot Andy Murray crashes out" or whatever....Personally i would put "Murray Mince".

If he wins great, I would love it if he won and paraded the Saltire instead of a Union Jack.

Davie Henry's Friday Thought

Another instalment from the New Business blood hound David Henry.

Well I say blood hound, looks like he is stealing cases!


"Just minked one o j-dawgs cases, be fun watching him erupt on monday"



....Roll on Monday till we see resident geezer, Jamie(not an old guy's name really is it?) flip his lid when he finds out the code of conduct has been broken!

What Aboot Farrah Fawcett

Leon Kompowsky, a brick layer from Paterson, New Jersey is dead.

I'd be raging!

You die. A pretty shocked "awe a cannae believe she's...."

Before you can finish your sentence news has broke that the one time biggest star on the planet(funny how "on the planet" sounds bigger than "in the world?") has died.

I'd be writing a serious letter of complaint to the big man!

Was funny tho, Uri Geller was on Sky News last night, was just waiting for him to try to get every on to concentrate, look in to the TV and will Jacko's heart to start again, same trick with the watches but on a bigger scale!

I think anytime they are showing footage on the news they should use the Bo Selecta Jacko, its how he would have wanted it.

"You'll never moonwalk alone"

10 Things I Hate At The Moment

1) Old people walking slowly in the fucking town.

2) All of the Big Brother contestants.

3) Spending money on razor blades.

4) Not being able to get parked 100 yards in any direction from my own fucking house.

5) Scottish football.

6) Cunts that take prams into small shops.

7) Asian Weans

8) Cyclists on the pavement

9) The smell on certain parts of Pollockshaws Road.

10) Junkies that always seem to be in a hurry to do something or go somewhere!

My Neighbour's Getting Pumped

As i write this..

Fair play tae her, a wee troll anaw!

....dare I?

...Naaaa

Depression Session

November after work for some £1.00 a bottle of Miller madness!

They do this on a Tuesday now! Driftwood on Sauchiehall Street do 89p for a bottle of Fosters Monday to Thursday but bump it up to a budget busting £1.50 during the weekend.

The Bold Nicos on the same street do £1.50 any drink any time but its a bit of a weird hole that you never feel easy or relaxed in!

I will endeavour to find out the cheapest boozers/best craic in the toon during the week and obviously document the whole thing!

Darth has a similar thing "Bar Wars" over on his blog but legally i dont think he has a leg to stand on if he starts his infringement patter!

Jehovah in a Rover

I seen God going for a ride in a purple convertable!

The things you see in Kellys! thought Sunday was a day of rest?

(click picture to see him in all his glory)

Take That and Russell Hearty

Ive never seen anything like it.

Because of these clowns, the whole city has been taken over with crazy deluded Take That fans for 3 fucking days.

I was in the town yesterday for something to eat and a few drinks, we went to November in princess square and halfway into the meal it dawned on me that me and my two mates were the only dudes in the place and it was heaving!...This isn't a bad thing you might say but there is a difference between a normal lassie and a Take That fan on match day! crazy bunch of boots.

Cant get moving down the south side, traffic is a nightmare and why are they wearing cowboy hats?

Shine On you Crazy Gobshite

I managed to drink 4 pints at lunch time and i'm fucked!

I landed back up to my desk with a serious shine on me, the worst part being that everybody knows i'm half scooped! Thank god i'm just in the office this afternoon.

Not only does it make the rest of my afternoon a write off, ive been trying to act like am not half drunk thus making the situation worse.

Sitting here laughing to myself at funny things i think of, having to piss every 2 mins being loud and over confident, and the worst part is i'm now choking for another pint!

Awe wit man!

Welcome Darth Carlsberg

He does a welcome for everyone over on his blog, so here's mine to him.

check his stuff out at http://darthcarlsberg.blogspot.com/

Cheers for joining lad

The Take

I watched a bit of it on Sky One last night whilst in my local for a couple.

It looked pretty bad, production value. The lot.

I think it can be summed up as a shite English version of "Looking After JoJo"

Confederations Cup

Shite tho!

I've watched a few games and they have all been shite.

"what about brazil v Egypt?" ..aye? what about it? that was shite tae! pure sweaty canny be arsed not interested football.

What is the story with the constant drone that sounds as if there is a giant wasp in the stadium attacking the fans? Obviously full of South Africans with some sort of noise making device they are swinging about for the WHOLE FUCKING GAME! I had to watch the second half of Italy v America with the sound down, Italy are pish by the way.

Fact of the day; Denmark won the bastard in 1995....shite!

First BB Live Rape

Its gonna fuckin happen!

Mogwai

So that's it confirmed! Tony Mowbray is Celtic's new manager.

Who cares? The guy is a gent, a Celtic man and a decent manager.. but with whats on offer, the structure at Celtic and the state of the Scottish game does it really matter who is in charge?

The board want someone who will take what they are given, wont moan and wont give any hassle. And the draw of 60,000 fans a week, the possibility of European/Champions league football and everything that being at Celtic brings with it is a massive draw for most, especially those who are already associated with the club.

A young manager, a good style of play...who knows? there are those that say Celtic haven't been ambitious enough in there appointment but what could we have hoped for? Frank Rijkaard? Carlo Ancelotti? these guys demand money and freedom to experiment with tactics and styles of play that are not suited to the SPL...and of course there is the " dream on" factor assosiated with the bigger names!

So all in all I'm happy with the big man, I'll get right behind him but don't be under any illusions like WGS before him he will do the best with what he has, he might not be so lucky tho!

Bird Is The Word

Seen this on a walk through Linn Park on Sunday.

A dead fuckin chick lying on a post under a tree. How fuckin depressing!

Poor wee fella, think he thought awe fuck this! and went head first out his nest?

Its all over now wee man.

Thats Yer Lot

Thats yer rain back and you know what, it fucks every thing up!

I was thinking that a wee break from the sun would be ok but the down pour has changed my mind.

You cant go anywhere or do anything, even a simple trip to the bank on my lunch break was an utter chore! and the burds dont look nice anymore!!? Obviously the proper nice looking ones do.. but the sunshine makes the ugly fat ones look ok too! and they know it! So now everone is depressed its raining! Pfffft!

Looky Likey

Fucking Beezer eh?....

Davie Henry's Friday Thought

And now a Friday nugget from my work colleague the man with two first names.... David Henry

"ah think u brought back some terrible secret fae berlin made a pact wi ur mates like i know what you did last summer "

Cyclists!!

They're fucking everywhere!

I walk to work in any weather, its about 2 miles (straight road mind you) but the amount of fucking cyclists on the road/pavement the last few mornings in the sunshine was unbelievable! they all dress in the same uniformed cycling attire.

Yer helmet.....obviously

Yer plain khaki t-shirt.

Yer bench/H&M combat shorts(that everyone drags out in the nice weather)

Yer thin trainies in a running trainie type fash.

Yer bag with work gear in it.

yer Halfords bike you got as a present cause you had been talking about "starting cycling again" even tho the last one you had was a BMX.

I'm all for fitness, but these are the half assed sunshine muppets!
You get yer all year round, wearing all the proper gear, this is part of my life style, i stay on the road and not the pavement dudes and fair play to them!

but these wankers that do it just to say "yeah take the bike into work most days to do my bit and keep in shape" bragging about this whilst the're standing with a pint in their hand at the weekend, bike well and truly ditched for the duration.
Any sign of wind or cloud its out with the car keys or bus fayre! and as soon as the first leave falls its in the loft with the bastard.

I dont know what it is, the guys that play football for a short spell just to say(in the pub again) "yeah got football during the week" an illusion of fitness and a lifestyle that they cant maintain.

I Hate

This Cunt!

Ive been watching this shite for the last couple of nights and this dude does my head in!

Totally socially inept and his accent is worse than that bag in Eastenders, utter douche bag!

Although this pic makes me feel bad for not liking him.

He reminds me of....

This Cunt!

Taj, the ubber Indian, socially retarded student from Van Wilder, who comes good in the end!.....cant see the same happening for the other lad tho....

Cunto

I find myself using this to describe people more and more, even friends of mine and people i know.

Its that bad that i'm almost doing it at work on a daily basis!

This cunt, that cunt, some cunt...some cunt? I've known this preson my whole life and i'm decribing him as some cunt? get a grip!

Banger too, this is now a word i use to describe almost anything. Money.."aye cost me £50 bangers",..tits.."check out the bangers on that cunt"..people i dont like.."that cunt is a fucking banger"...got him twice there!

More to follow....

Lost his phone! gutted!

One of the local milkshake selling racists! Mick and Mo are in it too

John took this back up the road for Kathleen's beer farts

Woke up with this on my wrist....no idea!! plus av got an aids wrist...

Adolf Shitler doing his thang on the bar!

Noel wouldn't even put down his beer to do the classic Hitler tash!

Another arty wan

A 9.9 isn't all he done on the street!

Durty Fecker!

Damo O2 Donnell

Playing with his instrument

He kissed him after this!?

Guess who shops at Topman?

Get Your Berlin Walls Out

Nervous times ahead!!

Blog Pan

Right. This is my first blogging attempt so the first few posts will be shite! hence the title!

I'm currently back at work hungover tay fuck after 4 days solid drinking during a stag in Berlin, pics will follow as i cant do it from here!

The guys in the office are looking at the shape of me and thinking; "how can one so young be such a fucking jake ball!".......Fuck em! Its gonna be a long auld day!